Oil Stains and Chewing Gum
by J. Shizzle
Summary: Tsuna and Co are at their shinanigans again; bring snacks for the show! Boarding School AU - Genderbending, OOCness, le Gay, and some complete crack. Full pairings inside. Rating/genre may vary with each drabble.
1. Leeches!

'Sup, people? (Oh my god, I haven't written a fanfiction in FOREVER.)

I ended up getting back into my KHR obsession, and this silly idea suddenly popped up.

This is, indeed, a High School (boarding school, really) AU with no Mafia (that I know of. Mostly businesses and the like.), lots of le gay, and some genderbending. :D

Tsuna is quite OOC for now, yes, but she has her moments of typical!Tsu-chan (other characters may end up being OOC, too). I'm also trying my best not to use Japanese suffixes unless necessary, because, well... Writing -san, -chan, -kun, over and over will make me rage with the passion of a thousand suns. :| Therefore, it may come up occasionally, but that's it.

This will end up being a whole batch of drabbles, really. Not too much plot, for now. If you think I'm going too far off the beaten path, please let me know!

**Known Pairings (Future) for Now:**  
Xanxus/Fem!Tsuna  
Reborn/Skull  
Hibari/Fem!Yamamoto

Note: I apologize for all the jumping around in this drabble! Unbeta'd and le muses just... Threw it at me this way. I think it's weird, but okay. And this was written in my history class. There.

**OHLOOKI'MAPAGEBREAK**

"HIIEEEE!"

Somewhere in Tsunako Sawada's subconscious, she cries for a normal, happy lifestyle.

Of course, with her luck, that's a mere wisp of a dream. Nothing more than freakin' bong smoke and munchie hallucinations.

Fuckin' Mukuro and his bongs.

"TSUU-NNAAA!"

With a groan, the brunette all but drove her head into the engine she was bent over. Sending a glare over her shoulder, Tsunako huffed and straightened, hands on her hips, "What is it _now_, Shouichi?" She knew where the scream had come from; she'd bet anything that it was Byakuran, come to pester the poor boy.

Again.

For the fifth time this_ week_.

Tsuna felt a muscle under her eye twitch violently.

Making an abrupt about-face, Sawada faced the situation, and fought not to slam her head into the car behind her again. As predicted, hers and Spanner's upperclassman was draped against the geek, arms around his shoulders and smiling face pressed to poor Shouichi's.

"Byakuran."

Purple eyes opened and creased in pleasure at seeing his young friend, "Tsunako~" He purred, wiggling his fingers at the seething female, "How are you, darling~?"

"Splendid. But it would be better if you would stop _distracting Shouichi from his work_," She growled, the eye-muscle twitching harder and even more violently as the white-haired teen just settled even more limply against the other.

"But I missed him~!"

"You saw him at breakfast."

"That was three hours ago!"

Shouichi stood there, silent and sweating a bit at being caught between his testy best friend and his personal leech. Again. This was happening all too often for his poor, weak stomach. As the argument continued between the two, Shouichi soon felt Byakuran's arms loosen around him, and he took the opportunity to duck under and scamper away to his workbench; his safe haven. Of course, his movement caused a quiet in the classroom and, suddenly, Shouichi felt too paranoid to see Byakuran and Tsunako's reactions.

"Told you."

_'Oh, Tsunako.' _Irie wailed mentally, _'I love you, but why do you do this to yourself?'_

The room's temperature seemed to fall, and Irie could just _feel _Byakuran's subtle glare as it was directed at his best friend. Of course, the white-haired teen continued to smile as he glanced over at Shouichi, then back over at Tsunako.

"I suppose I'll leave you two to your.. _Homework_."

With that, there was the sound of movement, and when the nerd looked over his shoulder again, Byakuran was gone. As much as he tried not to, a relieved sigh left his lips, and he smiled weakly as Tsunako walked over to lie a heavy, gloved hand on his shoulder, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a stomach ache."

A thermos was shoved into his hands suddenly, and the small brunette was pouting at him, "I still don't see why you don't just tell him off and get a restraining order or something. He's a creep!"

A roll of his eyes, a sigh, then finally an affectionate smile, "You know he's not that bad, Tsuna." The smaller of the two's pout tightened, and caramel eyes narrowed stubbornly. Just because he wasn't a bad guy (when he wasn't interested in someone), didn't mean he wasn't still a creep!

"Irie-"

"How's Xanxus?" The question was airy, quick, and Irie soon felt an evil grin threaten to spread across his face at the sudden horror blooming within Tsunako's expression.

"That bastard can rot in hell! Why would you care about him?"

"Oh, Tsuna, be nice.. He's still your fiance; betrothal or not."

At that, Tsunako gagged and shook her head, "Not happening, I told you. Not. Happening. I'd rather swallow a knife."

"Careful what you wish for, it could happen. Or you could swallow a knife, miraculously survive, and still have to marry tall, dark, and bloodthirsty."

"Ugh!"

**OHLOOKI'MAPAGEBREAK**

Read and Review, please~ 3


	2. Protect 18Fem80

Helloooo my darlings~

As requested, another chapter! I promise that one of the next couple will start going into some of the character's backstories a bit (after all, you do want to know why and how Tsuna and Xanxus got stuck together, aye?), and you'll see more pairings pop up.

Oh, and to answer your question **Kuronos**: I don't know if it'll be 10051 or not. I haven't decided yet. ^^ So, for now, just see Byakuran as a creepy stalker. He's good at that role. And I shaallll continue the mind-sexing (oh, Xanxus is going to be FUN to write). :D I hope to continue to please!

I have some plots for future drabbles, they just have to wait till I'm a bit further in to write out and post. Angst ahead for those!

I'm currently huddled up on the couch with cramps from hell, so my writing is keeping me distracted.

Thank you for all the hits, alerts, and the like~!

Some 1880 fluff this time around. You're warned! (Decided to make the 18fem!80 already established. It'll make for hilarity.)

**OHLOOKI'MAPAGEBREAK****OHLOOKI'MAPAGEBREAK****OHLOOKI'MAPAGEBREAK**  


Honestly, Takiko Yamamoto didn't know what her friends found so scary about her boyfriend. And, no, it wasn't because she was stupid; he genuinely wasn't scary to her, and-

Her thoughts were interrupted by a cry of pain in the hallway, where said boyfriend was currently 'disciplining' some wayward seniors.

_'Okay. Maybe he's a bit off-putting..'_ She relented silently, sighing softly, _'But he's not that bad.'_ Takiko found herself pouting as she recalled Gokudera's last words on the matter:

_"How do you know that fucking bloodthirsty creep isn't going to come after you next?"_

Her brown eyes narrowed in an uncharacteristic glare as she recalled the fight; Gokudera had just been caught loitering around by Kyouya, and was only saved by Takiko stepping in to calm her beau's temper. After that, she had shooed Hibari off, and got caught up in a rather nasty fight with her friend about Hibari's actions. She didn't even realize she had been seething where she stood until the door opened and Hibari walked back into the room, brushing himself off. Looking over at his ignorant woman, the skylark narrowed his eyes at her thunderous expression and he walked up behind her, grabbing her waist and pulling her against him, ignoring Takiko's startled squeak.

"Just what is wrong with you, woman?"

Takiko looked over her shoulder at Hibari, faking innocence as she asked, "What do you mean?"

The raven-haired prefect just _snorted_ and narrowed his eyes more, grip around the other's waist tightening. She was hiding something, and Hibari did _not_ like that, not in the slightest. Just what would be important enough for his woman to hide it from him? This was far from acceptable.

"You were about to kill something it seemed. Now tell me before I make you."

Takiko actually flinched at the not-so-veiled threat, causing Hibari's anger and suspicion to spike even further. She didn't want Hibari to go after Gokudera again; even if he was an ass, the bomb-obsessed teen was still one of Takiko's best friends, "Honestly, Kyouya, it's nothing."

"You're lying, and that's pissing me off."

The brunette groaned in frustration, turning in Hibari's arms to rest her hands on his shoulders, looking him squarely in the eye, "And if I tell you, you'll be more pissed off, and you'll try to bite my friends to death. For the hundredth time."

"Your _friends_ crowd around you too much."

"They're allowed, Kyouya... We're close."

"Even you and that idiot carnivore-wannabe?"

Here, Takiko knew she had to be careful; say the wrong thing, and Kyouya would believe something was between Gokudera and herself, and he'd go on a possessive, jealous rampage. Though, saying the right thing could still conclude in some sort of jealous rampage; the difference being whether it was a bloody one or not. Thinking for a moment, the Japanese girl chose her words as carefully as she could.

"We've known eachother a long time. We're good friends."

Obviously, that wasn't the best answer (from the way Hibari tensed against her), but it wasn't the worst, either; he didn't make a move for his tonfas (or her neck), after all.

"Fine, then."

_'Oh good, he's going to drop i-'_

"Now I want to know what's upset you."

_'Goddammit, Kyouya.'_

"It's nothing!" No, she didn't whine. Yamamoto may be be an airhead, but she didn't _whine_.

"Tell. Me."

A groan, "Fine; Gokudera and I just got into a fight. Happy now?"

"No. What about?"

"You!" She glared at him half-heartedly, "It was after you last tried to beat him up, and he's now convinced you're going to hurt me, too!"

There was a pause in the conversation; Hibari's aura was slowly darkening, and Takiko was suddenly regretting her admission. All she could hope is that her boyfriend wouldn't want to-

"I'm going to bite him to death."

Too late.

"No, no, no! Kyouya, no biting him to death!" She winced slightly as his hands tightened painfully on her waist, his teeth bared just faintly, "I refuse to allow such impudence in my school, or to my woman," The prefect snarled lowly, pulling away, only to startle when Takiko pushed him down to the couch behind him.

"Kyouya, please," Yamamoto pleaded, sitting next to him, hands still on his shoulders, "It's not worth going after him. It's not going to change Gokudera's attitude, I promise." She yelped again as his hands returned to her waist and pulled her straight into his lap. His head suddenly buried into her shoulder, and Takiko sighed.

"I refuse to hear about his idiocy anymore."

"Kyouya, wh-"

"You're mine."

"I know-"

"And there is no way I would raise my hand against things I own."

Takiko found herself rolling her eyes affectionately, smiling a bit. There wasn't any way she was going to get her say into his conversation; he was far too into his own possessive issues to let her; and even if she was being directly called a possession, it was sweet.

In some demented, very Kyouya-like way. It showed that he cared about her.

"Yes, I know that, Kyouya," She sighed, running her hand through his hair, letting him cling to her like a child would to a favourite security blanket or teddy bear, "That's why I'm annoyed with him for saying it. But you can't go after him because of it, either."

His response was to tighten his grip and growl into her shoulder. She sighed and continued to pet his hair slowly. It would take a bit more to truly keep him off Gokudera's back, but it would be worth it. After all, it was always nice to have an excuse to get Hibari cuddling.

Even if it was a strange, clingy, somewhat violent cuddle.

... Boys. Sigh.

**OHLOOKI'MAPAGEBREAK****OHLOOKI'MAPAGEBREAK****OHLOOKI'MAPAGEBREAK**

************I love you people. :D I know Kyouya and Takeshi (Takiko) are kind of out of character, but it's not too bad, is it? Please lemme know!

And if any of you have any ideas for future drabbles, also drop me a line and let me know! I'm not sure where to go with the next drabble. D:

Reviews are love~

P.S. Interesting fun-fact: Takiko means "waterfall" or "child of waterfall" or sommat like that. I thought it was fitting.


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